I wrote about relationship and it’s complications in the last post, and I believe its not rocket science anymore to understand that every relationship needs to be taken care of, nurtured and checked, time to time. Sometimes certain situations are highly capable of destroying your faith in your bond with your loved one, giving you enough reasons to unburden the unsaid ache inside you. However, not giving up and sticking around for good can give a meaning to trying harder.
There are a few things that I tried in my relationship which worked amazingly. Like any other marriage, ours wasn’t a cake walk too. We had our own share of ups and downs, and no matter how much people seem to look-up on us, we’ve worked on it pretty much to get there.
Time being the most essential thing in everyone’s life today, has a major role to play in relationships too. A working couple is apparently busy sending important e-mails to the client, taking care of technical issues in the team, dealing with boss challenges, worrying about the deliverables at work, but there has to be some time to call each other and say, “hey! hows it going?” or “whats up?” You see, it doesn’t take a minute! But when you go to the rest room you spend about a minimum of three minutes there, and those three minutes go wasted on random thoughts! Correct me if I am wrong!
Love doesn’t happen between two people because they live together or spend time together for a long time, rather it gets weaker with every passing year. This bonding needs nurturing like any kid growing up.
Having come across many couples talk and write about their spouse not giving enough attention even while at home, I wonder what could be the reason? The television? The baby? The cooking and cleaning? The work-from-home mails that keep popping up every half an hour? Well, your relationship is endangered !
How? Here is how…
We have a short and an uncertain life. In a life so unpredictable, marrying someone you love is one of the most wonderful things on Earth. Nevertheless, if there is negligence in a bond as such, it sure needs some serious consideration. There is no excuse for that!
Try to sit and talk
Its quite obvious that two different people WILL have different opinions, but trying to ignore or not listening, is never helpful. If there are issues, know that they need to be resolved. Some needs sorting out just about immediately to avoid further cracks. Not talking to your partner about problems may lead to unexpected explosion of hurt emotions.
Don’t push too hard
You are volunteering towards unwanted aggression! You can always lend an ear, when your partner wants you to listen. If you appear busy and sound not-interested in hearing out, she/he might want to yell or do something for attention! That’s a part of human nature. But some might swallow the hurt or anger and fall into depression (you don’t want that).
Wanting your partner to always bear with your aggression can lead to irritation and resentment. To avoid this, one should know when ‘to‘ and when ‘not to‘ say things. If you want your partner to hear you out, you might need to make an aura of understanding before you start. Meanwhile, prepare yourself to listen as well!
Being over-reactive or over-sensitive to everything is not going to provide any consolation. Rather, it will only bring new problems including health issues in the long run. If your partner is insensitive and you are just the opposite, as I mentioned above, talk it out! There has to be a way out of the dark nights, where two people sleep with their backs against each other. Go figure!
Days will keep passing by and all we’ll do is lose the precious ‘moments’… Moments that we can treasure and make worth remembering. All for what? Trivial issues and petty arguments?
So the next time you have an unpleasant argument, just take long breaths and ask yourself, “is it worth it?“
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