Secrets of A Relationship – Part I’

Relationship is quite a complicated thing, isn’t it? The more we talk about it, the more we get confused because, for every individual ‘relationship’ means differently. It isn’t practical to put all men or women into the same league and talk about the dos and don’ts while in a relationship or marriage!

There has been lots of discussions on the same in years and that has lead to formation of opinion. Men say, “why is it so difficult to understand a woman?” or “what do women want?” Women generally complain about men not being sensitive towards them, not being emotionally available for them, or failing to comprehend their feelings without being told!

Frankly, neither of the two is right or wrong!

Men being the stronger gender physically (as perceived) have the tendency of being overly practical and try to compare their mentality with that of the women. The women on the other hand, being the weaker gender physically (as perceived), consider emotions and sentiments to be of higher significance, since they believe, love and care comes out of being emotional about something or someone. Though there are exceptions in both the cases (where women are too much rational and men are emotionally weak and dependent), the need of being understood is equally high. A simple ‘Sorry‘, ‘Thank you‘, ‘I love you‘, ‘You are special‘, ‘You mean a lot‘, or holding hands, kissing in between, hugging suddenly, are words and gestures that could change the worst of moods!

Speak  

‘Understanding’, ‘Trust’ and ‘Love’ are the three magical words that can keep even the faultiest of the matches going. Couples fighting on petty issues doesn’t really mean they hate each other. In fact, little fights and arguments only make a relationship interesting compared to the boring monotonous treatments.  After a normal quarrel, couples reckon that the minor tiff isn’t worrisome, and that’s how it is sorted.

However, in a relationship where both the parties are silent and don’t speak much about their feelings (be it good or bad), there is definitely something to worry about! Hence, ‘Speaking up‘ is really helpful. It can loosen the tension between people when the cloud of misunderstanding is cleared.

When two different people are in a relationship, it means they are in love. But love alone cannot make it an unchallenging agreement. There should also be an acceptance of both being different, yet in love.

Post marriage, women mostly complain that men change. Men too, lament about the same, and sometimes even worse such as; “You are like any other women in the world!”

Well yes! Men and women are always like most of the couples in the world – always thinking that their partner is suddenly no more an extra ordinary person. In such a case, one has to be extraordinary to begin with. As they say, ‘it’s not about choosing the right men/women… it’s about being the right one first‘!

Wrongs in a Relationship

While in an argument, deciding that the partner is completely wrong or imagining that the partner doesn’t listen at all is a wrong take. Walking away from an argument is also never constructive, rather, it only leads to unfinished discussions which in due course, adds to the future arguments. Sitting down and trying to finish the tiff for a good reason might give some relaxed moments to the heart and head later.

woman and man sitting on brown wooden bench
Photo by Vera Arsic on Pexels.com

If you realise that your spouse is not understanding you, take the step yourself! Make him/her realize where he/she went wrong. Listening first is a good exercise instead of concluding a discussion right away when you your spouse is impatient about the incident or issue.

It is sad that most couples end up in an unpleasant treaty like divorce, breaking up years of marriage/relationship, and that too for meaningless fights. All you will require in real, is a bit of yourself to understand the flaws in your partner and try to fill in the gaps! The differences in both the genders are nothing but diverse ways of thinking or perception. If taken lightly, these differences can be easily eliminated by understanding each other, a step further.

A step forward, might encourage a step from the other end as well.

Will come up with more about relationships soon.

Till then… enjoy life!

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Thank you for dropping by!

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